All articles filed in abetterway

I’m a hack. I know I’m a hack. I create. I definitely create. I love to create. But I hack my way to a desired outcome. I use multiple tools and resources available to get to an end. I love what I post when I post it. Sometimes (often times) I watch or see something I posted and I don’t like it. I let it go. I’m on to the next thing.

life?

A behavior plan in a school setting begins with Setting Events. What are the setting events, the self-care or daily practices, that when in place, the chances of you getting ahead of your own problematic behavior (see October and November posts) is highest. Imagine day. Integrate yourself into the imagined sensations of the day you desire to experience. This experience is cellular. You are aligning with the source of wellbeing. It feels good.

Am I enmeshed with what is projected on the ‘screen’ (external), or am I aware of myself as the one viewing the ‘screen’?

Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People): The leader is IN me. I am in charge of me. I lead my thinking. I lead my feeling. I lead my actions. I am a choicemaker and a problem solver. Now THIS is me.

When it comes to behavior patterns, when one believes their goodness comes from external means, this opens up to a variety of choices that align with either compliance (to adapt to), defiance (refusal to adapt to), or a disingenuous split likened to a contrived manipulation.

The familiar pattern can still show up, but it feels far away. There is space. I notice it. I even engage with it. It doesn’t consume me like it used to. I am in charge even when I allow the pattern to play. I am super curious about patterns of behavior so I watch it. I learn from it. I also talk to myself the same way an adoring adult would talk to a beloved child or pet. I know it will exhaust itself, and I will grow in away that continues to sustain a healthy sense of wellbeing.

The inside world is connected to the nonphysical. The Something More. The essence of wellbeing and possibility. This is your guidance. This is your intuition. We disempower our own self when we focus on the external projection as the mastermind of our value and worth. When we rely on observable measures for approval, we create a split from our true identity. Split energy leaves us disconnected from the source of our wellbeing.

I have told the story (on some platform) of the moment-capture I had with my youngest nephew after we spent a full day celebrating my mom’s 80th birthday. He must have been four and a half. I found myself upstairs with both my nephews sitting cross legged with them on top of the pull out couch. They had just gotten into their pajamas and were snuggling into some milk and a show to chill out before bed. All my nephew said quietly to himself, as he was about to take a sip of his milk with his eyes on the screen, was “happy”. I think I remember it because it captured exactly what I was feeling. It was a simple moment. He labeled it: happy. No more. No less. Just right. 

Slowing down to return to your own sense of balance and equilibrium is a good idea. This is self-regulation. If one is not familiar with a regulated state, what does one regulate to?

When we see in ourselves that which is vulnerable, that which can improve, that which is not satisfying and is contributing to lagging outcomes in day – we can connect to the other in a way that is not personal.