In Yoga, some facilitators will put you in a pose and then say, ‘full expression’. Put simply, this means to lengthen something, soften something, expand something. In the storyitell workbook, I describe the cues (lengthen, soften, expand) as superhero pose and connect it to Amy Cuddy’s interpretation of presence. In Amy’s popular body language TED talk from 2012, she inspires: ‘fake it til you become it’, as it relates to using body positioning to inspire a shift in energy that can contribute to an integrated sense of balance and connectedness.  

Would you agree that for any tool or strategy to be effective, one must first believe in its possibility? Or, have an authentic desire for better outcomes? 

In this example, if one does not believe in superhero pose and how body position can shift one’s sense of self that can lead to better personal outcomes, the chances of superhero pose being effective are small. It does not matter the evidence to support it.

When one works with young people, there is a strange dynamic that occurs. It seems as though there is an agreed upon construct as to how a young person should think, feel, and behave. If the young person does not think, feel, and behave within the expected range (keep in mind, the adult can only see and hear what is happening, and often conclude based on external markers), then an intervention must take place in order to uphold expected norms. Otherwise, bad things are certain to happen.

If you are in a position to implement the interventions, you have a few things working against you: in most cases, the young person is not in on the external vision for how they are to show up and express themselves. The young person has no interest or motivation to change in order to make adults more comfortable in their presence. The young person has a reality that is unique to who they are born to be, and to continually become. 

To be effective with young people who have their own sense of desired outcomes (which are probably related to connection, belonging, comfort, play, enjoyment), a reasonable target would be to validate the child’s autonomy and sense of self, and then continually return to the ‘why’ behind the intervention. If the ‘why’ is substantial, one must then be open to different ways of attaining the reasonable outcome. One of the quickest, no cost strategies to improve outcomes is to think differently about what is happening.

If one is focused on different outcomes for another, there is a great chance one has stepped onto a treadmill of disappointment. Reference back to the second statement above: Would you agree that for any tool or strategy to be effective, one must first believe in its possibility? Or, have an authentic desire for better outcomes? 

The treadmill of disappointment is an indicator that one must slow down and consider what is happening. Or, consider how one is thinking about what is happening. Thoughts and feelings are interconnected. Does being consumed with disappointment that spotlights an-other’s choices and way of being in the world, lend itself to feeling any sense of power over outcomes? 

When one slows down to consider the story they tell about what is happening, one can notice if the story they tell (as indicated by thoughts and feelings) is one of possibility (what CAN happen – good), or one of fear (what can happen – bad). 

What story do you want to tell? Which one feels better?

Thoughts and feelings ripple…they take up space.

Today’s abetterway excerpt…

Reflection Questions:

1. Would adapting a beginners mind about…anything? everything?, support differentiation? Differentiation is a term used in schools to use a different process, product, or content, to get to the same learning outcome. It’s like having one destination, but choosing different routes to get there. Can differentiation apply to better outcomes in day living? (ordinary day…)
2. a) Can you get onboard with considering life to be a constant exchange of energy and information? b) Assuming you are onboard, now can you be open to understanding sensory processing as to how you are processing the energy and information through your senses to make meaning?
3. If you are processing the energy and information as a potential threat, danger, or challenge, the body’s response will indicate to you that it is prepared to fight, flight, freeze, or appease in order to protect itself. When one is present and aware, noticing how one is responding, then one can choose to soothe the response and move toward the discomfort with intention to problem solve, or to do the next constructive thing.

Here is the talk if you are interested. Apparently, over 70 million people have been interested.