last week’s blog post introduced ‘the frame’.
‘the frame’ is not a new and exciting concept.
if you spend your day within the mental health field you are familiar with cognitive behavior therapy (cbt)…most likely.
if you have discovered some level of emotional freedom from a life coach philosophy you understand the attraction factor your thoughts hold…most likely.
‘the frame’ is a helpful tool that supports different approaches to well-being and living in a space of satisfaction, along with some variation of a sense of control.
i promise you it is not ‘too good to be true’.
in the spirit of simplicity…let’s start with results and build from the discussion last week.
what results have been showing up for you recently?
do you notice that you are often not following through with what you say you will do?
do you have an established pattern around a segment of your day (work, for example), relationships (intimate and other), food/physical appearance, physical well being, money, too low or too high expectation, etc.
pick something that is not creating a lot of angst or reactivity inside of you…something you have noticed for sure but you figure if you gave it a little extra focus and attention you could probably figure it out…you just haven’t had time to address it.
maybe you prefer a clean car and it is often messy, you prefer to cook at home but find yourself mostly eating out, you love when your hair is a certain way yet you are mostly wearing it under a hat or in a hairband.
so let’s take one result.
now ask: what am I saying about it?
“there is never enough time…”
“i’ll do it later…”
you berate yourself in some way…’gawd…i need to figure this out!’..’i’m a shitty _____.’
in this particular example, it seems that the paradigm (see) has to do with an illusion of time…that at some point in the future things will go the way i desire for them to.
on one hand, living in a ‘state’ of things going your way (possibility, allowing, positive expectation) is great…on the other hand, having a linear belief about a future may result in results that seem a bit lacking…elusive – just outside your reach.
when the results are validating a belief of lack or limitation you have just recognized the problem – a world view that is rooted in a lie: not enough.
the governing energy of physical life is abundant…life force is infinite, open, free, expansive.
so…flip the language…the language is connected to thought…the thoughts are stringing together and telling a story…the story is matching the ‘state’ or the feeling (see-feel-do-get)…and the results that show up are based on the physical manifestations that include our behaviors/actions – these ‘guys’ get all the attention…and if we only focus on what is physically either showing up or not showing up…we stay stuck in it…and perpetuate more of the same by reacting to ‘what is’ rather than intentionally using our power (this connection to an abundant energy source) to create and focus on what we desire – what we want.
once we begin to play with ‘the frame’ we can intentionally use it to construct a pathway to what we desire.
for example…what is something that you want? again, pick something that isn’t really a sticking point one way or the other…
okay…I desire to have essential oils to use at night while I am sleeping. this is easy and I have already been pre-paving the path as i have a diffuser set up in my bedroom and i discovered that one of the yoga teachers sells essential oils and i have her card.
so the results are that i continue to have an empty diffuser.
what do i say? “i need to do that!”
when i ‘say’ that, i am unintentionally connecting to the lack – too much to do, not getting it done. in this case, it may be more helpful to connect to the state (feel) of the essential oils – the experience of the oils (sandalwood or rose, geranium) rather than the paradigm (see)…ironically, this is the whole point to essential oils – the smell lends itself to a satisfying or desired state…ha.
i am jumping ahead as you can intervene anywhere you want on the frame – thoughts (see), state (feel), actions (do/don’t do), desires (get).
time to wrap this post up…
you. are awesome.