Oh. Em. Gee.
Behavior is a tough topic to generalize.
The theme this month is replacement. In the context of behavior, it seems a rather simple solution to replace the maladaptive behavior with an adaptive behavior, and positively reinforce the adaptive behavior until it normalizes.
Most importantly, this blog is about you. You. You. You. Only You. You are the difference maker in your life. Disrupt the ideology that in order to access the platform of wellbeing as the mainstage to live from, that ‘other’ (basically anything external) must change/be different OR not change/be different.
So on one hand, the external not being the way you want it is messing up your access to wellbeing (feeling good). On the other hand, the fear of the external changing from how you want it is messing up your access to wellbeing (feeling good).
Neither scenario leaves you with any sense of power. A sense of feeling powerless creates a need to control, or to give up.
Gawd these are dreary options.
The difference maker is the choice to be the noticer of the pattern that is contributing to the undesirable results. The noticer is NOT the pattern. If one is noticing a pattern, one can disrupt the pattern. If one has the power to shift their thinking in a way that opens up a state of curiosity (what if…possibility v. what if…fear) then one is now empowered.
It is wise to consider your own behavior before assuming responsibility for another’s behavior.
Behavior is a tricky beat.
A visual would be helpful here.
Allow me to paint a visual picture with words.
The eyeball will be our symbol for awareness.
This eyeball sees both inward and outward.
The side view of the eyeball, just the eyeball, is suspended in a three-dimensional space with a projected view to the front (imagine the eyeball as a film projector), as well as a projected view to the back. Once again, the eyeball represents one’s awareness. Awareness is synonymous with Observing, Witnessing, Noticing.
If one is only noticing the external world, one is vulnerable to the power it places on the observable forces of space and time (situations, circumstances, events) as well as the power of other’s projection onto you. If you are not grounded in the story of You, the other’s story of You will disrupt your true sense of self.
The awareness of the projection within allows one access to the inside world of Feelings, Impulses, Thoughts, and Sensations. The inside world is connected to the nonphysical. The Something More. The essence of wellbeing and possibility. This is your guidance. This is your intuition. We disempower our true self when we focus on the external projection as the mastermind of our value and worth. When we rely on observable measures for approval, we create a split from our true identity. Split energy leaves us disconnected from the source of our wellbeing. Split energy creates tension that hurts and can break at any time. Failure to recognize our true self, creates inflammation in the cells. Inflammation causes…most things (?)
Awareness of the inside world allows one an opportunity to find resonance with what feels right to You.
Notice within. Get right. Resonate. Then project the true sense of self out to the external.
It may make sense.