Have you ever been in a situation where someone is helping you, or vice versa, on a digital device and you find yourself in a state of wonderment because of how the other navigates their device?

In my initial experience of the above years ago, I assumed it was just a one-off, an interesting observation. As the familiar observation continued, I assumed it was just me, and assumed EVERYONE else did things a different way and I was doing it wrong.

This past week I found myself at a delightful space with room for 40 people to receive their individual treatments for a variety of cancer diagnoses. The person I loved was receiving his treatment and was brave, but scared. The appointment was early and we were one of the first in the one story building. The open room was surrounded by windows, and the welcome beauty of southwest Florida sunshine filled the room. The person I loved chose a chair by a window. The nurse came to greet him and he asked if he would see the doctor because he had questions he wanted to ask prior to beginning. The nurse said that the doctor would not be there, but she could try to answer his questions. The nurse leaned up comfortably against the window, and looked at my dad. LOOKED at my dad. She was present and available to share what she knew about his process. That’s all my dad needed. He needed to be heard. In an instant the process was normalized and we began the new journey. What she told him as she looked up and around the large space full of chairs, was that if there were 40 people in the room with the same diagnoses, treatment, lifestyle, age, gender, etc., there would be 40 different responses to the same treatment.

The older I get, I notice the paradox of all things. I often refer to it as the mirror. The mirror showing up as I point the finger at the condition I suggest is causal or unhelpful, wrong. When I notice I am pushing against a condition – often in a state of judgment, criticism, comparison, it reveals information for me.

To notice the interconnectedness of all things, AND notice one’s autonomy of choice, interest, opinion, preference, lifestyle, etc. is to be human and have this experience ‘to live’.

To live and honor one’s desires of the heart without harm to self or other, and allow the other to do the same.

I love the Yoga connection to the midline or center. The push and pull of oppositional forces. I love the individual effort to be curious about the balance, or finding one’s equilibrium amidst the opposition.

The middle has power and flexibility when I think of Yoga and the spine. The top and bottom a bit more fixed.

I haven’t listened to any new podcasts in the past week. However, I want to share two from the few weeks prior.

Below is the post I began on February 1, 2025.

I had a situation occur on February 2 that questioned The Let Them Theory concept. Actually, my initial curiosity about the simplicity of the podcast listen was minimized by life situations that continue to happen, seemingly as a result of external conditions that create or support bigger and bigger extremes.

Heather McGhee made the connection to a normalized distribution of a healthy humanity looking like a football, by comparison to a bow tie.

The ‘middle’ is the football graph. The middle is where the people live. You and I…together.

We are stronger than the extremes.

---

I have spent my lifetime in schools. I am one of a growing number of educators that recognize patterns of behavior in the school setting that lead to unhelpful outcomes.

In the GoZen! social emotional program, one of the first lessons in Resiliency (GoStrengths!) is the negativity bias.

The reason I begin with this clip is because of the podcast listen I want to share this week.

I have heard of Mel Robbins and see her name and face often. I think The 5 Second Rule intimidated me and I didn’t return.

When I saw her name pop up in an interview with Jay Shetty, I was curious to listen and see what was contributing to the hype around her recently.

At first, what captured my attention was the initial conversation about The Let Them Theory reminded me of the school counselors I worked with for the last five years prior to this current school year. The students were continually reflecting on their ‘circle of control‘ when they came to see a counselor at school – what is in their control, and what is not in their control.

In the podcast, the negativity bias comes up as well. Another lesson found in school age social emotional skill building. Jay described his observation of people at a dinner party. When the guests arrived, they would share in detail anything that might have happened on the drive over that was negative; whereas, if asked about the drive over and it was good – no details, no story.

In the animated clip, at the end it shares that scientists say it takes 3 positives to 1 negative to offset the negativity bias, and in relationships it’s 5:1.

If one is mindlessly going about day-to-day living, its seems the negativity bias would be at play without a second thought. Can you imagine how this impacts…everything?

Another skillset included in the podcast interview about the book, is the mental filter. This skillset is also developed in schools (assuming there are school counselors and a focus on social-emotional skillbuilding).

When one considers one’s thoughts, they are using the skill of self awareness. When one examines their thoughts, they may recognize the potential to be interpreting situations as they are occurring through one’s feeling state. The lens is skewed based on the feeling state.

Again, can one be open to recognizing how mindlessly going about day-to-day without a curiosity about thoughts and feelings and the story they tell, could impact…everything?

The podcast also includes the yama Bramacharya (Yoga sutras of Patanjali) – right use of energy. The conversation was Jay suggesting to consider one’s thoughts as money/time/resources, whatever our thoughts are focused on is what we are giving money/time/resources. Asking: what do my thoughts suggest I am investing in?

---

This is back to me writing on 2/17/25.

The remaining school age social emotional skillbuilding tools include: Size of the Problem (does the size of my response match the size of the problem?) and Growth Mindset v Fixed Mindset (this can be connected to Abundance v Scarcity – is my mindset considering an abundance of possibility, or the fear of limitation?).

In addition to the Mel/Jay podcast listen, I want to share another Andre Duqum interview. In this January 28, 2025 episode, Andre and Jeff talk about the LA fires, along with sharing skills, tools, strategies, and mindsets relevant to Jeff’s new book: Good Stress.