This quote is not going to draw a tear, or stir up any raw emotion. The integration of new skills, tools, and strategies (experience) are what lead to sustainable growth outcomes in one’s emotional wellbeing. Having knowledge about emotional wellbeing is just more information.
The blog scribe today is from an Instagram video I posted one year ago. The scribe shares a story of intentionally creating win-win energy to lead to desirable outcomes.
All win-win energy is, is you intentionally getting into balance with whoever you’re interacting with. My example would be that I spent the weekend with my neighbor’s dog – who is my NEIGHBOR’S dog, not my dog. And my neighbor and his dog have a lot of patterns, have a lot of routines. And so Smoosh, the dog, and I were going to a coffee shop and at the coffee shop there were going to be BIG dog treats. Smoosh has places all over the neighborhood where she knows she can go to get dog treats. In my mind, I had a picture of where we were going and what she was going to get there. But she would stop, and literally just stop. And I don’t want to pull her or force her, so what I would do is just stop and get into a space of balance and validate(ing), even if it’s a dog. Dogs don’t have the *frontal lobe, so just balancing my energy with her and knowing that we were going to a place where she was going to get what she wants – and if I would balance my energy with her, then she would come with me and I didn’t really have to pull. I would have to be like, ‘Okay, come on Smoosh,’ and I don’t know if that makes sense but you kind of have to have read my blog on Saturday. But it was about painting a picture we think others hold. We have a vision, we know what we want the outcome to be and we assume that others have that same picture in their mind, and they don’t. So whether you’re in a position of leadership or you’re leading children, or you have children, being curious about the picture you have in your mind and using language, or even visuals to build the picture in the other’s mind; and then, not using that skillset to manipulate, but really being clear about your ‘why’. Why do I want this person, or this dog, or this child, to follow these directions. And then that question – and then what? ‘And then what?’ kind of gives you the idea: are you performing for an audience, or are you coming from an authentic space inside. Win-win energy is finding a place of flow, like a channel, where the energy can flow instead of being stuck or spinning.
*Dogs do have a frontal lobe and they do have executive functions. It made sense when I looked it up to see if I knew what I was talking about. I didn’t know what I was talking about. I want to understand more about domesticated dog’s executive functions, and primates too. I assumed primates didn’t have a frontal lobe because of how their heads were shaped. I’m kind of surprised a student never corrected me – they tend to know a lot about animals….and space, and dinosaurs…and videogames. Speaking of students, I think that understanding how a domesticated dog uses their executive function skills is probably going to be a GREAT way to teach the children about their own. Humans can use these EF skills with intention to problem solve for desirable outcomes that match win-win energy.