a better way. week twenty two/twenty three

Me again. The blog consistency is not flowing, but I am hopeful I can get back on board. Why? Because I enjoy it. It’s true that writing helps one understand what one thinks. I am aware (I think) that what is most consistently on my mind, or what I have a desire to write about, ultimately has to do with me,
…she writes to begin the Sunday Book Club blog, knowing that she has missed the previous Sunday, as well as attempted to fill in on Thursday, but didn’t land it.

Let’s begin this topic which I think is ultimately perspective-taking, by considering the tone of ‘pushing against’. I can start by reflecting on my own experience of noticing ‘tone’, and the reason I will do this is to establish an understanding that some people ‘feel a room’. Another way of saying this could be suggesting the sixth sense, or the interoceptive sense, is heightened in some. It’s similar to someone’s range of other senses such as hearing, tasting, smelling, or those who notice (see) details in a physical space. Now we are stumbling into sensory processing, or sensory integration. I’m considering tone in an experiential way as it relates to my own experience, as well as my observed experiences working in schools. It’s all interpretation, and my blog is based (obviously) on my interpretation and understanding.

Speaking of ‘my blog’…

The purpose of ‘my blog’ is to share content and ideas that allow adults and children to feel seen, heard, valued, and understood. I create and write during what I call Quiet Time, and I purposely do not write to push against other ideas or systems. In the event that I do push against a system, I would like to think it came up organically during Quiet Time and aligns with the content, rather than writing intentionally with an edge that presents as an argument or fight. I don’t find pushing against anything, or rather the tone of pushing against, to be helpful when it comes to sustainable growth outcomes. Pushing against, to me, is the hamster wheel. Pushing against, to me, is stuck and spinning in the same outcome.

The opposite of pushing against, is being pulled toward. The in-between is a balanced sense of self, or equilibrium. The ‘space’ between is just that – space. In the space is equanimity, curiosity, on-board thinking, choice, and so on.

For me, Quiet Time allows the space to be. Some can shut off their thinking and truly be in the space. Some can intentionally slow their thoughts in a way where there is space between their awareness (the noticing) of thoughts, where the thoughts can be manipulated in a constructive way to move someone toward their desired outcomes. In this space, with this suggestion coming from ‘my blog’, the space is win-win thinking. In the space I speak of, there is no enemy. There is nothing to push against. Only noticings of information to be curious about.

All this (so far) to say that there is an intelligent nervous system that will activate fairly and effectively when necessary to survive or to protect oneself in order to ultimately survive.

The purposes of this blog is to live. How does one live in a way where they are grounded in their own capabilities, contributions, and autonomy (sense of self) as well as agency (ability to choose).

Reflection:

What would be a helpful way to use writing, or dictation (speaking out loud to no one?) as a way to understand your own thinking? Are you comfortable with its outcome to be just that: a comfortable, or nondescript experience to be curious about – rather than an experience that leads to absolute outcomes?
Do you have an area of your life where you feel stuck and spinning in a version of the same unhelpful outcomes? Another way to say this is: what do you find yourself pushing against? What is the opposite, what are you pulled toward? Are you open to changing your focus to align with what you want?
After you identify what you want (the opposite of what you push against), what would it be like if you had it? Can you create the feeling state of possibility by imagining what it would be like if you had what you wanted? Are you open to discovering how to live as if you already had your desired outcome?

Here is what began to happen earlier in the week…

Today is Thursday, June 6, 2024.

Typically, I post from somethingmore on Thursdays. You may be familiar with the mega popular Thursday Book Club posts.

I did not post a blog the first week of June in 2020. If you take a second to consider the first week of June in 2020, you may recall why.

Due to the first week of June being an off-week for somethingmore, I am going to post from abetterway.

This works as I did not post a June 2, 2024 – Sunday Book Club due to a change in travel plans.

I have mentioned in previous posts that there was a time I was somewhat obsessed with the tech industry.

To me, it’s a funny story. (funny ‘haha’ and ‘funny’?)

What’s funny?

What’s funny is that it was my desire to learn about and facilitate mindfulness that exposed me (more intimately) to the tech world.

(I’m aware that explaining what one finds funny defaults in losing the funny altogether, but I think it is funny that mindfulness is the topic that hooked me into the digital landscape. There is other funny stuff too, that I have shared before – such as the five day silent, vegan, buddhist retreat led by Thich Nhat Hanh that I thought was a workshop with break out sessions for teachers…)

The end of the no longer haha story, but still ‘funny’ story, is that you don’t necessarily learn about mindfulness, you allow it or have the experience of it. Maybe one could even say that one’s ability to access a mindful state is similar to one’s ability to focus. In that regard, one is mindful of one’s focus.

The practice of mindfulness is allowing one to notice what’s happening in space and time with compassionate awareness: noticing without judgment, comparison, or criticism.

That said, mindfulness is a hit in the tech industry as it breeds creativity. Movement and play allow for imagination and creativity to emerge as well, as does time spent in nature.

On the topic of mindfulness, the advantages lie in one’s intentional use of the inner resource/skill to live a life that is authentic to one’s dreams, goals, desires – not to be further manipulated to live a life based on an ‘others’ dreams, goals, desires.

And finally, back to the ~~‘haha’ funny~~ story…

Not being mindful myself, but assuming I had already achieved enlightenment, I essentially quit a full time position to seek out opportunities to (mostly) pursue the facilitation of mindfulness as the main, or all encompassing, social-emotional skill builder.

The journey began with me googling mindfulness.

The google search ironically resulted in the google engineer, Chade-Meng Tan’s program: Search Inside Yourself.

I desire to develop the story of tech a bit more because it leads to a personal aha that I think is quite helpful when it comes to navigating day from a position to lead, encourage, instruct, inspire, and validate young people in 2024, toward a future that can easily span one hundred healthy (capable and contributing) years.

This aha came to me when listening to the book How to Turn Down a Billion Dollars: The Snapchat Story by Billy Gallagher.

The book was a fascinating listen if you like context. However, the takeaway I had was about generational news reporting. The book helped me think differently from the perspective of who was presenting the information. If you want to understand what’s happening, consider the perspective of those whom lived or are living ‘what’s happening’. One is not necessarily going to gleam a story of a 23-year-old tech entrepreneur through the eyes of a 48 year old tech reporter pushing against change. Billy Gallagher was student editor at the school paper at the time Evan Spiegel was a student.

One of the best examples of how generational ‘pushing against’ can crucify a collective group would be when an award winning journalist/TV program reported on millennials in 2008. I was particularly sensitive to the pushing against of this generation, as I was a high school teacher/social worker who believed in the students and recognized the same thing as in all students: intrinsic value, dignity, and worth. Why would a powerful program slaughter a generation of young people? How could that benefit a society?

Obviously, this general insight relevant to a general audience in the digital age, is the familiar theme relevant to ongoing minimizing stories told of humans as it relates to race, gender, and sexuality.

The Story I Tell. (is it my own? is it relevant? is it inclusive? is it helpful? does it pull me toward my desired outcomes that ultimately do not include harm to self or others?)

Reflection Questions:

1. Who do you listen to? Is the tone pushing against? Is it helpful or just validating?

2. Can you differentiate between living in a state of fear, as compared to living in a state of possibility?

3. Are you open to ‘fasting’ from information to notice your own authentic voice? Can you draw general conclusions as to what you most deeply believe in? (freedom? – fundamentally, why would one’s freedom being any different than another’s? — what’s the win-win here? — in order to live, does there have to be an enemy? what if the hero and the villian both exist within?)